Salman Rushdie, etc.

Read up on Salman Rushdie and the fascinating life he has lived.

America is the new Soviet Union.

I am changing my name to iPod Starbucks.

Welcome to the Idiot Club, may I take your coat?

Sen. Bill Frist's immigration reform plan focuses exclusively on border security. That means more boots on the borders, unmanned aerial vehicles, cameras, sensors, and "a virtual barrier to cover every mile of our 1,950-mile long border with Mexico."

I think it'll work. And if he hires Batman to patrol the border, whoa man, look out Mexicans!

Back to my tribute blog roots

Speaking of Suntory time, Scarlett Johanssen was voted World's Sexiest Woman or something similar by the readers of FHM magazine. Obviously they missed last summer's smallscreen sensation Taradise on E!. If I knew how to post pictures, I'd include shots of both sizzling starlets. Damn your eyes, WVZ!

Back in the high life again

Sunday afternoon I saw a guy at the Gables pool with a beer bong.

2006 Baseball Predictions

NL East - Atlanta Braves
NL Central - St. Louis Cardinals
NL West - Los Angeles Dodgers
NL Wild Card - Philadelphia Phillies

AL East - New York Yankees
AL Central - Cleveland Indians
AL West - Oakland Athletics
AL Wild Card - Chicago White Sox

World Series - St. Louis over New York in 7

Houston Astros record: 84-78

You've earned it!

Congratulations on your team's victory in the big game. As a die-hard fan, or even a fair weather fan as the case may be, you've worked hard to pull your team through. You should be proud of your team's win and your tireless efforts and self sacrifice in achieving same. When you look back on your life, I hope your team's triumph in the big game is your proudest achievement. Congratulations!

Only pay for the new half

The only style of clothing most people ever rent is a tuxedo. Now me on the other hand, I rent all my clothes.

Bugs of Mud

Why does everybody around here go into such a frenzied overdrive about crawfish? It's not even the #1 crustacean. Shrimp and blue crabs put crawfish to shame.

Shrimp Sensations?

Hey Applebee's - No matter how many commericals you air during the NCAA tournament, I will not eat at your restaurant.*

* Stillwater, Oklahoma location excepted

Either you're lying or you're an idiot

Esteemed US Senators: When you finish your investigation and hearings on oil companies' profits and high prices at the pump, hold some hearings on the outrageously high price of fine cashmere sweaters.

"Clancy of the Overflow" by Banjo Patterson

I had written him a letter which I had, for want of better
Knowledge, sent to where I met him down the Lachlan, years ago,
He was shearing when I knew him, so I sent the letter to him,
Just "on spec", addressed as follows: "Clancy, of The Overflow".

And an answer came directed in a writing unexpected,
(And I think the same was written with a thumbnail dipped in tar)
'Twas his shearing mate who wrote it, and verbatim I will quote it:
"Clancy's gone to Queensland droving, and we don't know where
he are."

In my wild erratic fancy, visions come to me of Clancy
Gone a-droving "down the Cooper" where the western drovers go;
As the stock are slowly stringing, Clancy rides behind them singing,
For the drover's life has pleasures that the townsfolk never know.

And the bush hath friends to meet him, and their kindly voices greet him
In the murmur of the breezes and the river on its bars,
And he sees the vision splendid of the sunlit plains extended,
And at night the wondrous glory of the everlasting stars.

I am sitting in my dingy little office, where a stingy
Ray of sunlight struggles feebly down between the houses tall,
And the foetid air and gritty of the dusty, dirty city
Through the open window floating, spreads its foulness over all.

And in place of lowing cattle, I can hear the fiendish rattle
Of the, tramways and the buses making hurry down the street,
And the language uninviting of the gutter children fighting,
Comes fitfully and faintly through the ceaseless tramp of feet.

And the hurrying people daunt me, and their pallid faces haunt me
As they shoulder one another in their rush and nervous haste,
With their eager eyes and greedy, and their stunted forms and weedy,
For townsfolk have no time to grow; they have no time to waste.

And I somehow rather fancy that I’d like to change with Clancy,
Like to take a turn at droving where the seasons come and go,
While he faced the round eternal of the cashbook and the journal -
But I doubt he’d suit the office, Clancy, of "The Overflow".

Townes Hall? What was I thinking?

If you have a fifteen hour per week job, please do not call me at the office at 3:30 on Friday and ask what I'm doing. That kind of behavior will get your tires slashed.

Notorious Petting Zoo

Music Recommendation of the Day: Biggie Smalls' remix of Billie Jean.

Double Dutch

Accidental double post re. Netherlands immigration exam. Will replace with a blogging gem when so inspired.

Cheese, Tulips and Den of Iniquity

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands - The camera focuses on two gay men kissing in a park. Later, a topless woman emerges from the sea and walks onto a crowded beach. For would-be immigrants to the Netherlands, this film is a test of their readiness to participate in the liberal Dutch culture.

After viewing the film, which is available in most languages, applicants are then quizzed on important Dutch factoids such as the number of provinces that make up the Netherlands; the role played by William of Orange in the country's history; and Queen Beatrix's monarchial functions. Citizens of the United States are exempt.

Testing Photo Capacity

I can't figure out how to post photos. F e*trade.

Missed Connections: Greatest Thinkers of the Modern Era

LOS ANGELES - Concerned about politicising her favourite charity, singer-actress Jessica Simpson on Wednesday turned down a invitation to meet with U.S. President George W. Bush, a snub that left Republicans dismayed.

Yee Haw!

Does anybody actually enjoy going to the Houston Rodeo or is it an inside joke between Houstonians?

On an unrelated note, who knew Vietnamese sandwiches were so freakin' delicious?

Space Age of Dinosaurs

Remember all the hype about robots circa 1986? They really whiffed on that one.

Longshore Drifter

Come to find out, security at the Gables Cityscape is handled by Dubai Ports.

Wowie wow

Jen Lindley has officially taken the Hottest Capeside Alum torch from Joey Potter.

Neocon Apathy

President Bush was warned that Hurricane Katrina would be a serious disaster, yet he didn't stop it from happening?! What a fascist.

That's some tasty tapwater!

G. W. Bush is in India right now. I wonder if he was able to follow the Seinfeld episode when Jerry, George and Elaine went to a wedding in India. You're right, I know, I'm just jealous.

Thanks in no small part to me.

WASHINGTON - Consumers, lured out to the stores by the warmest January in more than a century, spent at a rapid clip that outpaced their incomes.