I'm telling you for the last time

Houstonians - Do your Christmas shopping online this year.

All politics is local

Many administrators and faculty members at Rice University wish to see the athletic program dropped. I say while you're at it, drop the academic program too.

Hypocritical Pilgrims

I said it last year, and I'll say it again this year: This is my last family Thanksgiving ever.

Word of the Day

syb·a·rit·ic adj.
(1) Devoted to or marked by pleasure and luxury.
(2) Sybaritic Of or relating to Sybaris or its people.

"a chinchilla robe of sybaritic lavishness" [syn: epicurean, luxurious, voluptuary, voluptuous]

Highway Robbery - luridtransom demands Congressional hearings

L.A.'s smog tops Houston's
Associated Press

LOS ANGELES — The greater Los Angeles region surpassed Houston and the San Joaquin Valley as the nation's smog capital, in part because of a change in method of ranking, federal officials said.

Houston and the San Joaquin Valley, which in recent years rivaled or surpassed Los Angeles as the country's smoggiest areas, ranked lower this year.

But Los Angeles' rank comes with an asterisk.

The EPA this year switched from measuring smog over a one-hour period to measuring it over an eight-hour span. Under the old system, Houston would have edged out Los Angeles for the top spot by violating the standard on 33 days compared with 30 days.

What are you talking about?

SportsMorons: Do you dislike the BCS or the lack of a playoff?

Just between you and me

Houston is the best kept secret in America. How else can you explain the fact that only 4 million people live here?

The Owner's Box

Kudos to Mimi Swartz for her excellent article called "Tort Reform on Trial" in the November issue of Texas Monthly.

Intrepid Traveller

I just called my travel agent to cancel my upcoming cruise out of Galveston. Pirates attacking cruise ships? No, thank you.

Memo to morning commuters at Kirby & San Felipe

Don't let the a-holes who pass traffic in the left lane merge into the middle lane to go straight at the light at San Felipe. Do what I do: give them the finger and motion to the back of the line. I swear, I'm going to start carrying a pistol and shooting out tires. A-holes.

Applause

Congratulations to American League Rookie of the Year Huston Street.

Political Capitol

All gas tanks should be on the driver's side. The next time I pull up on the wrong side of the pump in a rent car, I'm going to write my Congressman. And I'm serious, I will write my Congressman. Stay tuned to see grassroots democracy in action.

Mink "coat"

Is it "old school" to refer to "Diddy" as "Puff Daddy?"

ESPN sucks

Mr. Rodriguez, how dare you insult the legacy of the New York Yankees by participating in high-stakes backroom card games. No doubt Mssrs. Ruth, Mantle, and Martin are turning in their graves right now.

Making a federal case of it

You louts in Washington pay billions each year to support Amtrak, which nobody rides in the first place. So how about you buy me a Vespa?

Instant Replay

How in the world the Supreme Court nomination formerly belonging to Harriet Miers didn't go to Mike Leach is beyond me.

Sorry, Boudreaux

Cajun food is highly overrated. Middle Eastern food is highly underrated.

Bold Prediction

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline will call it quits on or before July 4, 2006. On another note, I'm thinking of putting together a happy hour for Noam Chomsky's birthday on December 7. Let me know if you're interested.

Home Sweet Home

Ahhh...Houston! Nothing beats a traffic jam on Sunday afternoon.

Guns up

Dear Texas Tech, Give Mike Leach a lifetime contract and a weekly television show.