Politiki'z

I've got lots of fresh ideas to bring to the political arena. Unfortunately, only one comes to mind right now.

Platform:
- Adopt the metric system.

The Group of Eight

What are the chances the G8 will write off my student loans at next month's summit in Scotland? Probably slim to none, unless I can convince them that money went to line the pockets of ruthless dictators and brutally oppress non-ruling tribes. If anybody with the G8 calls and asks what I did with the money, go along with the story. Thanks.

Red Carpet

Movie Review: Mean Girls, starring Lindsey Lohan
Rating: Two stars (out of five)

This movie is watchable, but it never lived up to its potential or justified the hype. Better than Brandon Stewart, but not as good as Chris Simms.

Sports page

There should be online CWS bracket contests like there are for the NCAA basketball tournament. I hope this will be addressed at the Special Session.

Good luck on that ace, sir

I dare you to accept the challenge offered by GNR tribute band Rocket Queens, as found in their Manifesto:

Just try and find an album that rocks as hard as Appetite for Destruction.

Just try.

Beauty is truth, truth beauty

Raise your hand if you want a reality show starring Paris Latsis and D.J. AM.

Queso fresco, si! Queso fresco, no!

I had no idea there was such a thing as smuggled cheese. Hmmph.

Politics is local

Operation SafeClear is a program implemented by Smog City Mayor Bill White in January. If your car breaks down on the freeway, you get towed. The idea is that towing broken down cars from the freeway will lead to less congestion and fewer accidents. Good idea. But then the whining started because if your car gets towed, you have to pay the tow truck company. Gasp! How unfair! Why should I be responsible for my own car breaking down on the freeway?! In response to the whining, the city now pays to have cars towed. And guess what, it's going to cost the city an estimated $3 mil per year. So now we're whining about that. Not to worry, I'm sure this will all be sorted out at the Special Session.

Four Days to Hitchhike from Saginaw

Have you been to the old terminal at Hobby Airport lately? That place is worse than TV Max.

Hey Gables - You suck!

I am moving to a Gables apartment complex in the near future. Come to find out, I can't get Time Warner cable service there, because they have an exclusive contract with an outfit called TV Max. TV Max does not offer HD programming or a DVR-type cable box. What a rip off. If I'm lucky, the Gables will only allow me to buy food at Soviet bakeries. You suck, Gables. I want my money back.