A New Hope, but Questionable Strategery

Princess Leia knew the Empire allowed the Millenium Falcon to escape from the Death Star in order to track the ship to the secret Rebel Alliance base. So why did they fly straight to the Rebel base on Yavin IV?

Shoulda figured as much

Don't waste your time checking out Scott Gertner's Sports Bar over there across from KC's. Just go to KC's.

Still More Red State Fascism

DALLAS - A new Dallas Public Library code of conduct that bans distracting odors has drawn criticism from homeless advocates who say the rule unfairly targets the homeless and poor. The rules prohibit a variety of activities, including sleeping, eating, bathing, loud talking on cell phones, fighting, bare feet and sex.

Over/Under

Overrated: Creme brulee, margaritas, video iPods
Underrated: Pecan pie, green chile hominy, wind energy

Salzburg - Die Buehne der Welt!

No surprises here. luridtransom's official endorsement for the 2014 Winter Olympics goes to Salzburg, Austria. Viel Glueck, Salzburg!

The Last Straw: I'm moving to Tehran

WASHINGTON - The FDA proposed Thursday a stricter recommended limit on the amount of lead, a highly toxic metal, allowable in certain types of children's candy.

Barnum's Darlings

Aren't you glad you spent $300 on a cell phone with a crappy camera you never use?

About Damn Time!

TEHRAN, Iran - Hard-line President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, as head of the Supreme Cultural Revolutionary Council, ordered the enactment of a ban on all Western music, including classical music, on state broadcast outlets.

Now you tell me

Tori Spelling's getting a divorce. Papers were filed in October. Can you believe this craziness?

Digital Welfare

WASHINGTON - House lawmakers approved legislation early Monday that would complete the transition to all-digital television broadcasts by Feb. 17, 2009.

The measure also would allocate up to $1.5 billion to help consumers with older, analog TV sets purchase converter boxes so they would continue to get service in the digital era.

Blue Streak

If I don't hear of a $100 cover, all-you-can-drink New Year's Eve party soon, I'm hitting the panic button.

Everybody but me is so stupid

I spent 2.5 hours last night running errands and accomplished NOTHING. I am never going to a store in person again. I am never again going anywhere in Houston by myself that I've never been before. It only leads to frustration and anger. No, I did not find the magnets I was looking for. I will try to order them off the internet. Also, I now have no choice but to regift my $15 poster that it costs $211 to frame. I am boycotting Aaron Bros. Framing. Not because they charge outrageous prices, but because they REFUSED to give me a ballpark price to frame my poster, then made me wait 45 minutes while they screwed around. All paper, frames, posters and prints should be STANDARDIZED IMMEDIATELY. I should write my Congressman about this. Who is my Congressman, anyway?

Tax cuts all around!

There's no better way to love your children than deficit spending and carbon emissions.

Fine Line

Everybody's talking about how great the movie Walk The Line is. I haven't seen it, but I say it's not a good movie at all. The plot is numbingly predictable, the acting is on a community theater level, and the cinematography is, quite frankly, an embarrassment to the human race.

Philantropportunity Knocks

I want to quit the rat race and travel and work on my novel during 2006. Can I count on your support as a Gold Level Sponsor? Naming rights are still available.

Shattered Dreams

I've come to the harsh realization that I will never own a time machine. I figure if I were to acquire a time machine at some point in the future, I would have come and picked myself up by now. Either that, or something's gone terribly wrong on my time travels and I'm in grave danger.

Much anticipated eBay update

I kung fu'ed all 5 sets of magnets.

Adventure Capitol

I have a great idea how to make a bunch of money. If you want in, please contact me. And, no, this idea does not involve cornering any markets or violating any copyright laws. Serious inquiries only.

Misnomer

Dear Dry Cleaners on W. Alabama,

My clothes shouldn't be dirtier when I pick them up than when I dropped them off. Also, stop removing buttons from my shirts. Thanks.

House of Cards

If you pay me, I'll blog good things about you.

I'm like a chocoholic, but for eBay

I am the current high bidder for five sets of refrigerator magnets on eBay, and I have never felt so powerful.