Why I hate lawyers

Exchange between fat asshole lawyer in an Eikelburg Fun Run t-shirt and unsuspecting girl working the hunting license machine at Academy:

Girl: Do you want a Federal duck stamp?

Lawyer: [rolls eyes] Pfffft! No! I don't want to mess with any ducks!

Girl: Did you hunt dove, ducks or geeses [sic] last year?

Lawyer: I don't know, maybe. How about you go ahead and put no for that question.

Girl: How many doves did you kill last year?

Lawyer [annoyed]: Zero.

Girl: How many ducks did you kill last year?

Lawyer [more annoyed and self-important, this time with raised voice]: Look, I haven't hunted ducks in thirty years. Does that give you any idea how many?

Girl: How many geeses [sic] did you kill last year?

Lawyer [more annoyed, almost screaming]: I told you already I DON'T HUNT DUCKS!

Give back Lady Liberty.

Great news, America. You can buy Boycott France bumper stickers on Bill O'Reilly's website.

Gibraltar Monkeys

Book Review: The Pyrates, by George MacDonald Fraser. Thoroughly enjoyable melodramatic spoof of pirate stories by the esteemed editor of The Flashman Papers. Fraser can't help but put to use historical figures as his characters, and Col. Thomas Blood stars as the novel's anti-hero. Col. Blood attempted to pinch the Crown Jewels from the Tower of London in 1671. At trial he vowed to answer to none but the King himself. Charles II granted Blood a general pardon and granted him an estate. There are several theories explaining the motivations behind His Majesty's pardon. Look them up yourself, you have the internet.

Movie review: Mystery of the Nile (IMAX). The movie itself was enjoyable. However, I didn't expect such a McDonald's crowd at the Museum of Natural Sciences. And I literally mean a McDonald's crowd. The theater smelled like french fries. And for Pete's sake, stop chattering and watch the movie. Maybe it's time to revisit my plan to move to Canada.

Concidence? Is John Mark Karr the same person as Texans' creepy QB David Karr?

Fascinating

You'd think I'd get more postcards than I do. Thanks a lot.

If you won $300 million in the lottery, would it ruin you? If you answered no, you're wrong.

Ponder for a moment produce supply chains. You can buy an apple at Central Market that was harvested just days earlier in a Chilean orchard. Mind boggling. By the way, I encourage you to buy locally produced meats and vegetables. It's better for our farmers and Mother Nature.

Concerning Hobbits

The Hobbit Cafe on Richmond is fantastic. You should go eat there.

Rhetorical Malfunction

The slippery slope argument is itself a slippery slope.